OYSTERS ARE FOUND IN BRACKISH AREAS THROUGHOUT THE SOUTHERN AND EASTERN AREAS OF THE US.
THEY ARE BIVALVE MOLLUSKS WITH CALCIFIED SHELLS FOR PROTECTION FROM PREDATORS. BESIDES COONASSES, THEIR MAJOR PREDATOR IS THE OYSTER DRILL (A KIND OF "HERMIT CRAB", LIKE THE ONES MANDATORY FOR SALE AT ANY CATHOLIC CHURCH FESTIVAL)
THEY HAVE RELATIONS BEGINNING AT AGE 2 AND CAN LIVE FOR 20 YEARS ! THEY STAY IN BEDS (LIKE MTV CRIBS, BUT ONLY ON THE WATER AND WITHOUT HD TV'S OR BENTLEYS).
THEY ARE NORMALLY HARVESTED USING DREDGES OR TONGS, AND SOLD BY THE SACK (~125 POUNDS). THEN THEY ARE SHIPPED WHOLE, OR ARE SHUCKED TO FIND THEIR WAY INTO HALF-SHELL BARS OR ONTO POBOYS.
NOW ONTO THE GOOD STUFF....
WILL OYSTERS INCREASE YOUR SEXUAL DESIRE ? (NOT MINE I HOPE)
AFTER ALL, APHRODITE RODE AN OYSTER TO THE SURFACE AND THEN GAVE BIRTH TO EROS. FUNNY HOW ALL THIS SHIT IS RELATED (I REALLY MUST BE A ZODIAC CANCER) !
ACCORDING TO SCIENCE, THERE IS NO PROOF THAT OYSTERS MAKE YOU HORNY. ALTHOUGH, IF THESE SCIENTISTS WOULD LEAVE THEIR GC'S AND GO TO AN OYSTER BAR, THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY GET LUCKY. BUT WOULDN'T THAT THROW THEM FOR A LOOP ? I BELIEVE THAT THE INCREASED AROUSAL COMES FROM THE ALCOHOL CONSUMED WHILE SLAMMING BACK HALF SHELLS BRA ! WELL, WHATEVER IT TAKES.
WHAT ARE T REE'S FAVORITE OYSTER DISHES? WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
- OYSTER PO-BOYS OF COURSE. FRENCH BREAD, SHREDDED LETTUCE, EXTRA TOMATO, MYNEZ, KETCHUP, AND HOT SAUCE.
- HOW ABOUT K-PAUL'S OYSTERS HOT FANNY. FRIED OYSTERS WITH PECANS AND JALAPENOS. I HAVE SHARED THIS DISH WITH A FEW OF YOU. PRETTY GOOD !
- RAW, ON THE HALF SHELL. BE CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE IF YOU ARE YOPI (YOUNG, OLD, PREGNANT, IMMUNOCOMPROMISED) YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE FOR CIALIS.
- FOR THOSE COLD WINTER DAYS, OYSTER SOUP
- FOR YOU HEALTHY TYPES, ASK FOR THEM BIENVILLE, WITH SPINACH.
- AND FINALLY OYSTER DRESSING. MADE WITH FRENCH BREAD OF COURSE. IT'S NOT STUFFING UNLESS IT IS IN SOMETHING RETARDS.
HERE IS A LINK TO SOME OYSTER RECIPES - http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Seafood/Shellfish/Oysters/Main.aspx
ENJOY !
GOLF LESSON WAS GREAT TODAY ! I WILL BE ON THE PGA TOUR SOON.
ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY NIGHTS. AND, IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE EATING OYSTERS, DON'T BE SCARED TO LET THE JUICES FLOW !
T REE
3 comments:
Did you send this one to Steve? You know he doesn't know anything about ORSTRS!!!!! Your Granny pushed me out the way today to get to HIM, not HYMN..... PUSHED ME!!! I don't know if I will ever forget that. Love ya, Mom Glad golf went okay... Hope it doesn't cost 9 cagillion dollars!!!!!!
well dear friend all I can say is your blog is back on track. Please excuse me not leaving comments the last few days! I was in nola at the lil a's big wedding. I enjoyed some of the delicious oysters you spoke about, both the raw and fried golden crispy brown variety!
Drs. Heitzmann said to give you a shout out! I am so glad you are keeping up with the mardi gras countdown! I hope you will make it this year pending no "ass" issues. I like Jr. but there is no suitable replacemnet for t ree on the eros float!
Thank God for you, I am Herbie Dudu!
p.s. Thank God this is a biweek! Atleast we won't lose!
hahahaha! I love the comments! I don't like oysters. Is there something wrong with me.
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